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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?